i feel tired... very very tired.... suddenly feel like giving up... but if i do so i will have wasted all my previous efforts... how to continue to focus... SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME!!~~ i dunno what to do.... i feel wasted.... mind is in a swirl... cant think properly...

hmmm.. accidentally click on my old blog.. was spending some time reading the posts.. while reading them, weird feelings just overwhelm me.. thoughts like why? and how did i did it? were running around my head...

feeling a little dumb.... cos some how i feel i do have some faults... i say there must be trust between each other. but i wasnt able to do it... trust take time to build but to could just crumble in an instant... i could never forget wad i had done... tt night i couldnt forget that she lied to me and i went to read the chat log... thats was very despicable of me and i regretted doing it.. reasons are that i betrayed the trust, i invaded her privacy and i got to know many unpleasant things that a bf wont want to know...

after reading those i should have let go much earlier but i did not... thats another dumb thing i did... after so long i feel i am a totally different person... maybe not physically but mentally and emotionally...

just some thoughts
要做到无我真的很难...
its easy to fall in love but it is hard to maintain a relationship
there is no 100% de


hmmm think i wrote too much le... was expecting something much less.... but then i cant help it... sorry peeps if its too crappy... WANTED TO TALK MORE ABOUT MY STUDIES DE HAIZ... NEXT TIME BAH,,,

been at home for 13 days le.. left wif 21 days to continue with this kind of life... =) seems boring but beats going to work at a place i dont like at all...

i am suppose to make use of this 44days to prepare my exams de... but some how i wasted 13 days le... nearly 2 weeks...

well after this blogging session i will go mug le.. have to...

this entry is some what a reflection after reading a friend's blog... "Tots of staying in YJC for four years came again" quoted from her blog.... well that was what i went through... i studied in yjc for 4 full years....... crazy right? some how after going through the 4 years i gained and lost many things

i gained more friends and a better grades la... but then i totally wasted 2 extra years... i recently met some of my year 1 friends and some of my sec school friends... they either in uni 1st year le or 3rd(gals)... while looking at them and thinking about my future i realise i was very foolish and stubborn but i guess i am such a person even till now i still haven give up... i believe in 有始有终 (you shi you zhong) this is the last year i going try my best in A lvl again and this time will be the last time le....

i now can see the big pic le... A lvl is just a passing moment in life... tts y it short 2 years only... life will have to go on even the grades isnt too great... one can still do a degree de lor or even make it big in life wif out a degree... and how well a person will do in life is not base on A lvl.. some who din finish PSLE also can make it bigh in life de... i do see peopl like tt...

i din give up tryin As till now was because i am too proud to let things be... i just find it very hard to let go...'after so many year its still like tt'...<-- tt was wad i had been thinking i my head..

actually in short, i just want to tell my friends that now is the time to put down any distractions, and give all the best no matter how hard it is going to be... cos i dont want anyone to feel regretful...like wad i went through... it sucks...

resolution: start mugging hard, so hard that as if there wont be any tomorrow for me....

hmmm

guilty of the following charges...
~watching too much anime~
~reading too much manga~
~not studying hard~
~not updating blog~
~din read frens blog~


punishments
---- nil ----

muhahahahaa lolx!!


aiyo watching really too much anime le...
~fate/stay night
~zero no tsukiama (season 1)
~zero no tsukaima ~ Futatsuki no Kishi (season 2)
~mahou sensei negima!!
~aishiteruze Baby

all very nice to watch!!!! must go check it out kay... try veoh streaming to watch..

still dling alot more... =s